*Warning: Contents of this post might be exaggerations of actual events*
So this morning me and Hanna decided it my be fun to go and check out a place called Mi Pueblito, which sounded like it would be pretty cool. It said it had replicas of Indigenous housing and other Panamanian houses. So we got into a taxi and headed over there to check it out.
Driving there I noticed we had to go through the shady part of town and started to get nervous about the exact location of this place. Once we got there though it was a safe distance from the scary part of town all by itself on one side of the highway. We got out and quickly realized we were pretty much the only people there and the workers were still working on getting everything set up for the day. We walked around, slightly disappointed in what we were seeing, but determined to make the best of it.
We soon realized that this place was really just a giant tourist trap. Literally. It was up away from the main road, which was a giant highway. If you don't know anything about Panamanian highways, or roads in general, they're pretty terrifying since Panamanian drivers drive like maniacs and blatantly ignore all traffic laws. So we decided trying to cross the highway or trying to get a taxi down there would be scary and we didn't feel quite up to it right then. So we explored around a bit more and found the indigenous housing, which turned out to be a fake Kuna Yala. It was interesting since we had just been to the real Kuna Yala. It was really weird since it was just a super fake version of the place we had just been, which made me uncomfortable. Also we found the "ocean" on the other side of Kuna Yala and realized that we were quite trapped in that direction.
After looking at the horribly fake Kuna Yala we explored down a forest path and found more buildings, also a fence. We once again realized that we were totally and completely trapped in this area with no hope of escaping. At this moment of great despair fake natives came from the forest and captured us. They threw us into a giant cage, which was full of signs that there had been captives there before. With all hope lost we settled into our captivity, praying some one would save us.
Low and behold! Harrison Ford (a strange, but sexy, mix of Han Solo and Indiana Jones) runs up, whip cracking, blasters blazing to the rescue. He swept us into his arms then ran us down the hill where a taxi, driven by Panamanian Samuel Jackson (cause Morgan Freeman was busy), was waiting. The fake natives were in hot pursuit with poison dart blow guns, but they were no match for Harrison Ford. As we drove out off, leaving Harrison Ford to fight off the natives we yelled "We love you!" to which he responded, "I know," as he was over run by natives. When we looked behind us Worf and Bashir (from Star Trek) ran out of the forest phasers blasting. We hoped they would be able to help Harrison Ford and save the day.
(My excitement upon seeing Worf there to rescue us)
Panamanian Samuel Jackson then drove us the Natural History Museum, which was pretty cool. We looked at all the stuffed animals and saw lots of really cool ones. There was a terrifying room filled with animals from Africa that looked like they would come alive at any moment. We slowly backed out of the room, only to find the door was blocked, by Harrison Ford, Worf and Julian Bashir. They live!! We were so excited we could hardly contain our joy. So we ran back to the hotel to share the news with the world, hand in hand with the sexy men.
Bashir. My hero.
So this morning me and Hanna decided it my be fun to go and check out a place called Mi Pueblito, which sounded like it would be pretty cool. It said it had replicas of Indigenous housing and other Panamanian houses. So we got into a taxi and headed over there to check it out.
Driving there I noticed we had to go through the shady part of town and started to get nervous about the exact location of this place. Once we got there though it was a safe distance from the scary part of town all by itself on one side of the highway. We got out and quickly realized we were pretty much the only people there and the workers were still working on getting everything set up for the day. We walked around, slightly disappointed in what we were seeing, but determined to make the best of it.
We soon realized that this place was really just a giant tourist trap. Literally. It was up away from the main road, which was a giant highway. If you don't know anything about Panamanian highways, or roads in general, they're pretty terrifying since Panamanian drivers drive like maniacs and blatantly ignore all traffic laws. So we decided trying to cross the highway or trying to get a taxi down there would be scary and we didn't feel quite up to it right then. So we explored around a bit more and found the indigenous housing, which turned out to be a fake Kuna Yala. It was interesting since we had just been to the real Kuna Yala. It was really weird since it was just a super fake version of the place we had just been, which made me uncomfortable. Also we found the "ocean" on the other side of Kuna Yala and realized that we were quite trapped in that direction.
After looking at the horribly fake Kuna Yala we explored down a forest path and found more buildings, also a fence. We once again realized that we were totally and completely trapped in this area with no hope of escaping. At this moment of great despair fake natives came from the forest and captured us. They threw us into a giant cage, which was full of signs that there had been captives there before. With all hope lost we settled into our captivity, praying some one would save us.
Low and behold! Harrison Ford (a strange, but sexy, mix of Han Solo and Indiana Jones) runs up, whip cracking, blasters blazing to the rescue. He swept us into his arms then ran us down the hill where a taxi, driven by Panamanian Samuel Jackson (cause Morgan Freeman was busy), was waiting. The fake natives were in hot pursuit with poison dart blow guns, but they were no match for Harrison Ford. As we drove out off, leaving Harrison Ford to fight off the natives we yelled "We love you!" to which he responded, "I know," as he was over run by natives. When we looked behind us Worf and Bashir (from Star Trek) ran out of the forest phasers blasting. We hoped they would be able to help Harrison Ford and save the day.
(My excitement upon seeing Worf there to rescue us)
Panamanian Samuel Jackson then drove us the Natural History Museum, which was pretty cool. We looked at all the stuffed animals and saw lots of really cool ones. There was a terrifying room filled with animals from Africa that looked like they would come alive at any moment. We slowly backed out of the room, only to find the door was blocked, by Harrison Ford, Worf and Julian Bashir. They live!! We were so excited we could hardly contain our joy. So we ran back to the hotel to share the news with the world, hand in hand with the sexy men.
Bashir. My hero.
Hmmmm. That sounds like a pretty accurate account of what happened today.
ReplyDeletelove the pictures and the story.
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